It is quite amazing how fast eight weeks can go by and how much you can learn about yourself. Just eight weeks ago I began another course at Walden University titled Communication and Collaboration. Not only did it sound fascinating, I can now say that it was fascinating.
During the past eight weeks my peers allowed me to think outside of the box with their questions and insightful posts. They were supportive when I lacked confidence in my communication skills. But most importantly they showed me that being a team means being committed and trustworthy of one another. If there's not mutual trust and respect, then nothing works (Laureate, 2011).
So I wanted to take this moment to thanks my peers that allowed me to be me and have shown me that they are all in this fight to support and create the best environments they can to support children and families around the world. I wish them the best as they continue on their journeys, because this is not a good-bye instead it is...until next time!
Reference:
Laureate Education
(Producer). (2011). Team building strategies [Video file]. Retrieved
from https://class.waldenu.edu
Monday, June 30, 2014
Monday, June 16, 2014
Adjourn? When? Really???
Parting ways is most often a very difficult task, especially when a group of people have shared many triumphs and positive moments. As I think back to several groups I have had the privilege of working with one in particular stands out. A few years ago I worked in a child care center that was unlike many others I had previously worked in. It was a small center which made for a tight knit group of early childhood educators and families. Having had the experience of other child care centers, I was surprised how involved all of the teachers were with each other. In previous centers I had been in teachers primarily worked with only those in their classroom and on occasion shared ideas or insights with others. It never felt right to me, but I have never been the one to create new waves. In any event, here I was in a new center surprised to see teachers share, inform, created, organize, and support one another willingly. Yet as most know, the characteristics of effective, successful teams include:
- Clear communication among all members.
- Regular brainstorming session with all members participating.
- Consensus among team members.
- Problem solving done by the group.
- Commitment to the project and the other team members.
- Regular team meetings are effective and inclusive.
- Timely hand off from the team members to others to ensure the project keeps moving in the right direction.
- Positive, supportive working relationships among all team members (Abudi. G, 2010).
Although adjourning can be difficult for some or easier for others, it is critical to remember that it is also a time to look back and reflect on what accomplishments had been made or what mistakes have allowed you to grow. This is an essential stage, because as educators it is important to evolve with the times and develop an open mind to the diverse world we live in. But at the end of the day, we function--it is like a puzzle--and so the pieces have to fit together (Laureate, 2011) in order for change to be made.
References:
Laureate Education (Producer). (2011). Team building strategies [Video file]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu
Abudi, G. (2010). The five stages of team development: A case study. Retrieved from http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html
Learning Center. (2011). How to build a team using vision, commitment, and trust. Retrieved from http://www.learningcenter.net/library/building.shtml
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Working Through Disagreements and Conflicts
There isn't a day, a week, a month. or a year that goes by that one won't face some sort of conflict with another individual. Differences of opinion and clashing goals are inevitable in any relationship ('O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). And that can be part of what keeps our relationships fun and interesting! ('O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). But it's how the partners handle the disagreements that arise that determines whether their bond will grow stronger ('O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
Just recently my very good friend and I were faced with a conflict. My good friend "Tasha" has been a part of my life for the past 15 years. Tasha and I have shared many ups and downs, but most recently we were faced with a conflict that left us on non-speaking terms for several days. This was not only surprising to us, but also very upsetting since we had never experienced this before.
It all began with my daughter's jr. prom. Tasha has also been a part of my daughter's life and all of her milestones since the day she was born. So, when jr. prom rolled around both my daughter and I knew that Tasha would be there. Weeks before the jr. prom I had shared the date, time, and location for pictures with Tasha. I also shared with Tasha that my family and I would be away on vacation and returning just 2 days before the jr. prom. So, I specifically stated that I was sure that things would be crazy upon my arrival and she needed to make sure that she kept that information visible as a reminder.
The day had finally arrived and I had sent a text to Tasha reminding her about the plans. As the day continued I had not heard word from Tasha, but I had been so busy running my daughter around and getting her ready that I did not think twice about reaching out to Tasha again. My daughter was also in a very touchy mood because she dislike so much attention that I had become so preoccupied and never put a second thought about whether Tasha had received my message or her whereabouts.
To make a long story short, Tasha never showed up and became very upset with me when she saw pictures of my daughter posted on a social media site. She immediately called me and began to express her anger towards me. She went as far as telling me that she doesn't feel I respect or care enough about her as a friend and that she would understand if I didn't want her in my life. Of course I was in utter shock. Tasha and I had never spoken to each other in this way.
Clearly, there was a misunderstanding. A few days had passed and the dust had settled when I picked up the phone to resolve the conflict. I approached the situation very calmly and openly and we were able to get past it. However, in the future there are two strategies that I would use in order to resolve any conflicts more productively. The first strategy is to begin the conversation by focusing on the issue at hand. Often arguments, disagreements, or misunderstandings can lead individuals to name calling and finger pointing. Yet, such personal attacks do little to foster cooperation and usually succeed only in putting the other person on the defensive and making the interaction more heated ('O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). The second strategy would be to, differentiate feeling from thinking, being able to identify and express internal feeling states in a way that does not imply judgment, criticism, or blame/punishment (The Center for Nonviolent Communication.(n.d.). The skills will help you make clear requests. They will help you receive critical and hostile messages without taking them personally, giving in, or losing self-esteem (The Center for Nonviolent Communication.(n.d.).
In the end, building healthy relationships is like gardening. With love, patience, time, and care it will grow and blossom.
References:
O'- Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from www.cnvc.org
Just recently my very good friend and I were faced with a conflict. My good friend "Tasha" has been a part of my life for the past 15 years. Tasha and I have shared many ups and downs, but most recently we were faced with a conflict that left us on non-speaking terms for several days. This was not only surprising to us, but also very upsetting since we had never experienced this before.
It all began with my daughter's jr. prom. Tasha has also been a part of my daughter's life and all of her milestones since the day she was born. So, when jr. prom rolled around both my daughter and I knew that Tasha would be there. Weeks before the jr. prom I had shared the date, time, and location for pictures with Tasha. I also shared with Tasha that my family and I would be away on vacation and returning just 2 days before the jr. prom. So, I specifically stated that I was sure that things would be crazy upon my arrival and she needed to make sure that she kept that information visible as a reminder.
The day had finally arrived and I had sent a text to Tasha reminding her about the plans. As the day continued I had not heard word from Tasha, but I had been so busy running my daughter around and getting her ready that I did not think twice about reaching out to Tasha again. My daughter was also in a very touchy mood because she dislike so much attention that I had become so preoccupied and never put a second thought about whether Tasha had received my message or her whereabouts.
To make a long story short, Tasha never showed up and became very upset with me when she saw pictures of my daughter posted on a social media site. She immediately called me and began to express her anger towards me. She went as far as telling me that she doesn't feel I respect or care enough about her as a friend and that she would understand if I didn't want her in my life. Of course I was in utter shock. Tasha and I had never spoken to each other in this way.
Clearly, there was a misunderstanding. A few days had passed and the dust had settled when I picked up the phone to resolve the conflict. I approached the situation very calmly and openly and we were able to get past it. However, in the future there are two strategies that I would use in order to resolve any conflicts more productively. The first strategy is to begin the conversation by focusing on the issue at hand. Often arguments, disagreements, or misunderstandings can lead individuals to name calling and finger pointing. Yet, such personal attacks do little to foster cooperation and usually succeed only in putting the other person on the defensive and making the interaction more heated ('O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). The second strategy would be to, differentiate feeling from thinking, being able to identify and express internal feeling states in a way that does not imply judgment, criticism, or blame/punishment (The Center for Nonviolent Communication.(n.d.). The skills will help you make clear requests. They will help you receive critical and hostile messages without taking them personally, giving in, or losing self-esteem (The Center for Nonviolent Communication.(n.d.).
In the end, building healthy relationships is like gardening. With love, patience, time, and care it will grow and blossom.
References:
O'- Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from www.cnvc.org
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Communicators
Just this week I participated in an online assessment based on communication anxiety, verbal aggressiveness, and listening styles. Unsurprisingly, my scores reflected exactly how I feel and perceive my anxiety while communicating in group settings, my balance between considering and respecting others feelings, and being empathetic toward others. A family member and a coworker also had the opportunity to evaluate me in all three areas and I was surprised to find that all three results were different. My coworkers results revealed that I was comfortable and confident in group settings, I back down rather than engage in a persuasive conversation, and am a content oriented person. While my family members results revealed that I exhibit anxiety in certain situations, I have the ability to argue fairly, and I am people oriented.
The disparity between all three results were completely surprising. I had a feeling that my coworkers results would tell a different story of me, because my actions at work are often much different than my actions at home. While at work I value professionalism, respect my colleagues, and take pride in the work that I do. When I am around family and friends, I tend to be a little more relaxed, spontaneous, and straightforward. Yet, what I found remarkable were the areas that they felt I exhibited strengths were not the areas I felt I exhibited strengths. The areas I thought I excelled in they felt I lacked. For example, my coworker felt that I exhibit comfortableness and confidence in group settings because I can stand up in front of a room of colleagues and speak without stumbling over my words. Yet this is an area that I feel the least amount of confidence and often find myself diverting from eye contact and fumbling with my hands. However, as I think about my coworkers encounters in group settings I have always envied his confidence in large settings and they way he would speak so effortlessly always providing eye contact. It is clear that every individuals experiences contribute to their schema and ultimately influence their perceptions and first impressions. Subsequently, whether you are looking at a painting, making new acquaintance, or recounting the details of a specific event, your interpretation of what you see, hear, or touch will be unique to you, at least to some degree because of the ways in which you select, organize and interpret information (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). So I believe it is safe to say that, while your self concept strongly influences how and when you communicate with others, the reverse is also true: when you interact with other people, you get impressions from them that reveal how they evaluate you as a person and as a communicator (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
One of the most eye awakening insights about communication I gained this week was how often are first impressions are derivative from our own self-identity and ultimately influence how we communicate with others. This was proven this week as each of the results of the online assessments were revealed. There were three different individuals, perspectives, experiences, and results. More importantly I learned through conversations with peers and colleagues ways to improve my perceptions in order to become a better conversationist. Some of the following helpful tips are also shared in my text and they reveal the following:
1. Verify perceptions: It may be natural to jump to some conclusions- to depend to some degree on existing schemas-but it is crucial that you take the time to confirm (or debunk) your conclusions (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
2. Be thoughtful when you seek explanations: You need to ask yourself whether some event or action might have preceded or provoked what you observed (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
3. Look beyond first impressions: It is often wise to delay reaction or judgment until further perceptions are made (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
Clearly, understanding the role that perception plays in the communication process is crucial to our success as communicators (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
References:
The disparity between all three results were completely surprising. I had a feeling that my coworkers results would tell a different story of me, because my actions at work are often much different than my actions at home. While at work I value professionalism, respect my colleagues, and take pride in the work that I do. When I am around family and friends, I tend to be a little more relaxed, spontaneous, and straightforward. Yet, what I found remarkable were the areas that they felt I exhibited strengths were not the areas I felt I exhibited strengths. The areas I thought I excelled in they felt I lacked. For example, my coworker felt that I exhibit comfortableness and confidence in group settings because I can stand up in front of a room of colleagues and speak without stumbling over my words. Yet this is an area that I feel the least amount of confidence and often find myself diverting from eye contact and fumbling with my hands. However, as I think about my coworkers encounters in group settings I have always envied his confidence in large settings and they way he would speak so effortlessly always providing eye contact. It is clear that every individuals experiences contribute to their schema and ultimately influence their perceptions and first impressions. Subsequently, whether you are looking at a painting, making new acquaintance, or recounting the details of a specific event, your interpretation of what you see, hear, or touch will be unique to you, at least to some degree because of the ways in which you select, organize and interpret information (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). So I believe it is safe to say that, while your self concept strongly influences how and when you communicate with others, the reverse is also true: when you interact with other people, you get impressions from them that reveal how they evaluate you as a person and as a communicator (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
One of the most eye awakening insights about communication I gained this week was how often are first impressions are derivative from our own self-identity and ultimately influence how we communicate with others. This was proven this week as each of the results of the online assessments were revealed. There were three different individuals, perspectives, experiences, and results. More importantly I learned through conversations with peers and colleagues ways to improve my perceptions in order to become a better conversationist. Some of the following helpful tips are also shared in my text and they reveal the following:
1. Verify perceptions: It may be natural to jump to some conclusions- to depend to some degree on existing schemas-but it is crucial that you take the time to confirm (or debunk) your conclusions (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
2. Be thoughtful when you seek explanations: You need to ask yourself whether some event or action might have preceded or provoked what you observed (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
3. Look beyond first impressions: It is often wise to delay reaction or judgment until further perceptions are made (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
Clearly, understanding the role that perception plays in the communication process is crucial to our success as communicators (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
References:
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M.
(2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:
Bedford/St.
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