Communicators

Just this week I participated in an online assessment based on communication anxiety, verbal aggressiveness, and listening styles.  Unsurprisingly, my scores reflected exactly how I feel and perceive my anxiety while communicating in group settings, my balance between considering and respecting others feelings, and being empathetic toward others.  A family member and a coworker also had the opportunity to evaluate me in all three areas and I was surprised to find that all three results were different.  My coworkers results revealed that I was comfortable and confident in group settings, I back down rather than engage in a persuasive conversation, and am a content oriented person.  While my family members results revealed that I exhibit anxiety in certain situations, I have the ability to argue fairly, and I am people oriented. 

The disparity between all three results were completely surprising.  I had a feeling that my coworkers results would tell a different story of me, because my actions at work are often much different than my actions at home. While at work I value professionalism, respect my colleagues, and take pride in the work that I do.  When I am around family and friends, I tend to be a little more relaxed, spontaneous, and straightforward.  Yet, what I found remarkable were the areas that they felt I exhibited strengths were not the areas I felt I exhibited strengths. The areas I thought I excelled in they felt I lacked.   For example, my coworker felt that I exhibit comfortableness and confidence in group settings because I can stand up in front of a room of colleagues and speak without stumbling over my words. Yet this is an area that I feel the least amount of confidence and often find myself diverting from eye contact and fumbling with my hands.  However, as I think about my coworkers encounters in group settings I have always envied his confidence in large settings and they way he would speak so effortlessly always providing eye contact. It is clear that every individuals experiences contribute to their schema and ultimately influence their perceptions and first impressions.  Subsequently, whether you are looking at a painting, making  new acquaintance, or recounting the details of a specific event, your interpretation of what you see, hear, or touch will be unique to you, at least to some degree because of the ways in which you select, organize and interpret information   (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). So I believe it is safe to say that, while your self concept strongly influences how and when you communicate with others, the reverse is also true: when you interact with other people, you get impressions from them that reveal how they evaluate you as a person and as a communicator (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). 

One of the most eye awakening insights about communication I gained this week was how often are first impressions are derivative from our own self-identity and ultimately influence how we communicate with others.  This was proven this week as each of the results of the online assessments were  revealed.  There were three different individuals, perspectives, experiences, and results.  More importantly I learned through conversations with peers and colleagues ways to improve my perceptions in order to become a better conversationist.  Some of the following helpful tips are also shared in my text and they reveal the following:
1. Verify perceptions: It may be natural to jump to some conclusions- to depend to some degree on existing schemas-but it is crucial that you take the time to confirm (or debunk) your conclusions (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
2. Be thoughtful when you seek explanations: You need to ask yourself whether some event or action might have preceded or provoked what you observed (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).
3.  Look beyond first impressions:  It is often wise to delay reaction or judgment until further perceptions are made (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).

Clearly, understanding the role that perception plays in the communication process is crucial to our success as communicators (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012).

 References:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St.